What I Wish I’d Known As A Newborn Mom – Calgary AB

You know the typical adages, “hindsight is 20/20” and “If only we knew then what we know now.” These sentiments exist for good reason. As a professional newborn photographer, I spend my workdays with brand-new parents. After years of hearing about their experiences, especially clients in their second or third time around, I’ve become an amateur expert on the newborn mother/parent experience.

As a result, I do all I can to help newborn moms and parents have the most meaningful and memorable experience they can during those first several postpartum months in Calgary.

5 THINGS YOU’LL APPRECIATE KNOWING NOW ABOUT NEWBORN MOM (AND PARENT) LIFE

Someone I know shared a story about meeting her “10-Years-From-Now-Self.” She had a hard decision and felt completely on the fence about what to do. Then, out of nowhere, she thought, “What would I say to myself about this decision ten years from now?”

When imagining looking back from that Ten-Years-From-Now version of herself, the choice was obvious – and she made her decision with no regrets. She’s used that same concept ever since when faced with challenging decisions, and it’s never failed her.

I share this because – if you haven’t already – now may be a perfect time to meet your Ten or Twenty-Years-From-Now-Self and tap into their experienced wisdom. Odds are, they’d make similar recommendations about your newborn motherhood experience.

Trust your wisdom; you ALWAYS know best

It’s not easy being a parent in an era when parenting/baby care advice is available via books, podcasts, blogs, and social media. Then there’s the pressure from well-meaning (or are they?!?) family, friends, and peer groups.

Here’s the thing about that: you have remarkable instincts and intuition. You may not hear or feel them (yet), but they are there. More than that, your instincts and intuition are 100% attuned to YOUR baby. That’s not your neighbor’s baby, your sister’s, or any of your friends or colleagues’ babies and what they needed.

Becoming a new parent can feel like a dysfunctional version of adolescent/teen peer pressure all over again. That in itself should be enough to highlight how ridiculous it all is. If you’re having difficulty tuning into your intuition and determining what’s right for your baby – regardless of what physicians, your parents, others, etc., may advise – turn them off. Shut off the phone, don’t answer the calls, and absolutely resist the urge to tap into Google wisdom. Listen to your baby, who communicates with you loud and clear in ways we can’t begin to understand. Honor your gut instincts.

Love is all you need

It may sound cliche, but love is what babies need most in those first few months after your baby is born (and for the rest of their lives ;-)). When you LOVE your baby, you’ll automatically:

Protect them from a hectic schedule that interferes with feeding and bonding rituals.

Have more confidence saying “No” to others or going against their advice to honor what you, your baby, and your family need.

Turn off the phone and the outside interference to pay attention to what’s working for the baby and what’s not.

Clear the calendar and hold the baby as much as they need it so they learn you’re there for them. It won’t last forever, and your unconditionally loving and supportive foundation is exactly what allows developing babies to find their way into trusting more independence and their own self-soothing mechanisms over time.

Take care of yourself and your needs so you can be as present as possible to them.

Find greater peace letting the laundry, dishes, and other house chores go (or honoring others’ strong desire to help and letting them do that stuff) so you can sleep when you need to.

Practice stress-management strategies so your stress isn’t absorbed by your wee one(s).

And so on, and so on.

The “six-week” postpartum healing time frame is a load of you-know-what

There is absolutely no way that a woman who’s given birth ever decided that six weeks is the exact window of time required to heal from pregnancy/childbirth. It takes most mothers I’ve known months and even a year or two (more if there was trauma involved) to feel ready to:

Go back to work.

Have sex (let alone with any gusto).

Feel remotely interested in touch from another human being (babies are lovely, but they often bring new mothers to a “touch saturation” point.

Be out and about in the social realm.

Embrace a “normal” daily routine and social calendar.

And we’re talking about the “normal,” non-traumatic births here. The time frame is longer and slower (as it absolutely should be) for women who have experienced a C-Section, a significant tear/pelvic injury, or who are traumatized by their labor in other ways.

I highly recommend reading The Fourth Trimester (or procuring it in Audible form) by Kimberly Ann Johnson. It’s never too early to read it because it also contains essential information about what can prepare your body for birth, including practical strategies for minimizing trauma and injuries and how to prepare your house/household for the transition into newborn life.

You may not realize you have postpartum depression

Many women have no idea they have postpartum depression until someone else in their life identifies it and helps them get the support they deserve. When you’re pregnant, share resources about postpartum depression with your partner and your closest friends and family members and make agreements that they’ll let you know and help you if they notice any red flags.

The baby blues (which tend to recede within the first weeks after labor) are one reason why we need to take such good care of newborn moms in our communities. While baby blues happen to just about every new mom in one form or another, postpartum depression is more serious and is often unrecognized by new moms in the midst of it.

Or, if they suspect/know they have it, mothers feel such shame, fear, or judgment they resist reaching out for help. I’ve also encountered mothers who knew they had postpartum depression but just felt so exhausted they didn’t have the energy to seek the support they needed.

So many people are waiting in the wings to love and support you and your baby. If you feel too self-conscious to share your experience with people you know, get in touch with Post Partum Support International.

You’ll never regret scheduling a newborn session

Many of my clients are second-time parents, who kick themselves for not scheduling a professional newborn photo session for their first child. At the time, they thought they’d do it themselves…and then they never did. Or, they thought they’d have a friend take photos in their home, which they also never did.

It’s hard to imagine the crazy rollercoaster time warp that is the newborn experience, and so many of the best-laid plans for DIY newborn photos fade into the dust of turned calendar pages. Before you know it, your precious three- or six-month-old will provide amazing photo ops – but nothing compares with the eensy-weensy newborn images – especially when captured by a professional artist.

BECOMING A NEWBORN MOM OR PARENT? SCHEDULE A PHOTO SESSION WITH BELLIAM PHOTOS

My name is Wendy Goetz. I’m the owner of Belliam Photos and dedicate my life to producing stunning, one-of-a-kind images of pregnant women and newborns. Lets Connect so we can meet, tour our studio, and learn more about what we can do to celebrate this time in your life. I promise you’ll never regret it, and – of course – I’m always happy to share what I’ve learned about the sacred newborn mom experience.